I just finished reading David Sedaris’ hilarious memoir, Naked. The book is clever, engaging and hilarious. Since I seem to be the only person on earth that still reads for fun, I decided to print this funny excerpt from his collection of autobiographical essays. It made me laugh out loud, so perhaps you will enjoy it too.

I spent my high school years staring at the pine trees outside my classroom window and picturing myself on the campus of an Ivy League university, where my wealthy roomate Colgate would leave me notes reading, ‘Meet me on the quad at five.’ I wasn’t sure what a quad was, but I knew that I wanted one desperately. My college friends would own horses and monogrammed shoehorns. I’d spend weekends at my roomate’s estate, where his mother would say things like ‘I’ve instructed Helvetica to prepare those little pancakes you’re so fond of, but she’s had a devil of a time locating fresh cape gooseberries.’ This woman would have really big teeth that she’d reveal every time she threw back her head to laugh at one of my many witticisms. ‘You’re an absolute caution,’ she’d bray. ‘Tell me you’ll at least consider joining us this Christmas at Bridle Haven; it just wouldn’t be the same without you.